Moms Have It Hard

I was talking to a girl friend tonight. She wasn't born in this country, and only emigrated about 10 years ago. She got married here and has 2 sons.

Her husband and her were discussing her working. She tried to explain to him that it wouldn't work out. She doesn't have a degree in America. She has never really worked here. The only jobs she could get wouldn't pay much more than minimum wage. Not even enough to pay for after school care.

Also, she spends about 1.5 hours each day with her eldest son on homework (the younger one is still in preschool). Her husband just doesn't understand these things. He is very proud when his son brings home great report cards, but is ignorant to the reason behind the grades. If she didn't work so much with him, he would not do as well. Her mom spent the majority of time, during my friends' childhood, working and making my friend do everything by herself, and my friend did not get as much out of school as a consequence.

I think dads don't always see everything that we moms do for/with our kids. Kind of like the groceries - you know, the ones the magically appear in the refrigerator ;)

I KNOW that things are tough for all moms, regardless of if you are a stay at home mom (like she is) or a working mom (like I am).

THE MAMA

Last night I had to take the 6 year old monkey to the ER. She came in to my bedroom at 12am and by 12:30am was crying so bad that she ASKED to go to the hospital.

Thankfully, even though I live in LA, I live in a suburb with a small hospital about 10 blocks away. We were seen right away!

If any other mom has taken their child to the ER, you know that getting a child to pee in a cup, on command, is an exercise in futility. Especially when that is the body part that hurts/itches!

FYI - what the doctor's forget to tell you is that the antibiotics for a bladder infection strip away ALL yeast, including good yeast. So, it is VERY COMMON to get a yeast infection while fighting a bladder infection. Even on a 6 year old!

Thank G-d, she is fine and using a topical cream and eating lot's of probiotic goodies!

Driving home today, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders (the 3 hours sleep probably didn't help).

I AM THE MAMA!

• I am responsible for making sure the monkey's are healthy
• I bring the food in to the house (organic fruits, vegetables and meats as much as I can)
• I make sure the husband has the schedule straight on a daily basis as to when to pick them up/drop them off
• I plan the after school activities
• I plan the play dates
• I make sure that doctors are seen for ailments/preventative care
• I kiss boo-boo's
• I SAY NO
• I pack healthy lunches (for the most part)
• I buy the clothes
• When there is a sick/cranky/bratty child I get the stink eye from the family/friends/strangers

No matter what century we are in, I AM STILL THE MAMA!

The PAPA? Wow! He "baby sits" so the Mama can take a 1 hour rest on Sunday mornings - isn't he great! He picks up the monkey's every day - what a good man! He provides - even though the Mama also works!

I love my monkey's more than anything in the world, and cherish them, but I need a WIFE/MAMA!

I can be a normal mom

I am not the mom to do arts and crafts with my kids. I am not the kind of mom who chases butterflies through a field with her kids (like the woman who is free because she is wearing pads with wings). I am not the kind of mom who will walk along a block for a whole hour, delighting in her child stopping every two feet to look at a flower.

I am the kind of mom who would LOVE for my children to get so engrossed in a movie that they sit still for 1.5 hours (I'm still waiting for that day).

However, there is a weekly ritual I have with my kids that puts me in the "normal mom" or "good mom" category (yes, there is a person who puts moms in different categories ;)).

Since the big monkey was 2.5 years old, I have been taking her to the Calabasas Farmers Market. When the little monkey turned 3, she started coming with. They both know to stick by me and not to run away. They know which vendors we go to, and the vendors know the kids by name. In fact, the few times I go by myself, they ALL ask where the kids are and are upset that I didn't bring them.

I figured early on that if the monkeys saw fruits and vegetables in a fun setting, and got to help pick them out, that they would eat more fruits and vegetables. I don't know if our weekly outings had anything to do with it, but my monkeys are, in fact, lovers of fruits and vegetables. On any given Saturday you can see the monkeys chomping down on raw cucumbers, tomatoes, green beans, persimmons, Asian pears and other assorted fruits and vegetables.

And everything we buy is organic, which I am a big believer of.

A good friend of mine asked me "what's the deal with you and organic food?"

A long time ago, I read a number of studies that showed that pesticides and hormones in produce and meats have contributed in great part to girls going through puberty early. With my genes, my girls DO NOT NEED any help in that department. Therefore, we try to eat primarily organic and/or hormone free.

The funniest thing happen to me at the Farmers Market. I had been thinking about taking pictures of the Farmers Market for my blog but forgot my camera. So, we were at our favorite citrus vendor and up comes a woman to me and asks if she could take my picture for her....BLOG!!! My mouth opened so far down she must have thought I was a freak. I recovered and agreed. Apparently, this vendor uses bio-degradable bags and she was doing a blog post on these bags. I was so dumbfounded that I forgot to ask the name of her blog.

I'm hoping I can do a search and find it, since somewhere there is a picture of me putting citrus in to a bio-degradable bag at the Farmers Market.

So anyways, that's my one contribution to spending quality, wholesome time with my monkeys :) Whew - am I pooped!

Girl Friends

I absolutely love my closest girl friends. They are there for me whenever I need. When I need to go out to eat, or for a drink, they are always ready - especially the ones without kids.

However, their weekends consist, generally, of waking up late, lounging around, running a couple of errands, and getting ready to go out.

MY weekends consist of 1 child droped off here, another child taken there, mommy mommy I want, grocery shopping to have food in the house to feed the kids, mommy mommy I want, play dates, or setting up play dates, and maybe a couple of minutes of down time!!! I am lucky enough to have a wonderful baby sitter, so I can go out at night. Of course, by 11pm I am yawning and looking at my watch! Yes, I do get made fun of, and I feel bad, but I have had a LONG DAY, and tomorrow starts the same cycle. Them - tomorrow means getting up late, lounging around and getting some errands done. Repeat every weekend....

Tomorrow is another recipe - is it wrong that I look forward to getting together so I can have an excuse to cook????

The pursuit of my inner June Cleaver

I am an immigrant. I was brought to American to live the American dream and to partake in the "Pursuit of Happiness", which is my right according to The Statue of Liberty.

I learned to speak English, partially, by watching the Incredible Hulk and other sitcoms. High School was going to be either like Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club or any other John Hughes movie. Americans families were run by moms that were perfect.

These moms: June Cleaver, Carol Brady, Lucille Ball, etc... These moms fricking vacuumed in pearls, perfectly pressed dresses, coiffed hair and heels! I wanted to be a "perfect mom".

Looking back now, I see the reality:

June Cleaver - kids went to school, came home, dropped their books and ran outside to play until dark. Husband was home by 5pm to "discipline" the boys.

Carol Brady - stay at home mom, live in house-keeper, older kids took care of younger kids. According to a friend, Carol was a raging alcoholic.

Lucille Ball - constantly had a neighbor, or the Mertzes, watch little Ricky while she went off on her hair-brained schemes!

And all across "perfect mom" sitcom land, not an "after school activity" in sight! Kid wanted piano lessons - neighbor did it for a casserole/pie. Kids rode their bikes where ever they wanted. And if they fell into a well, well, Lassie alerted the flippin authorities!

It was in that vein that I decided to make a cake for the big monkey's Fall Open House Bake Sale.

Brazilian Style Carrot Cake from:

http://kitchenspace.blogspot.com/

4 carrots - raw, peeled and chopped into chunks

2 cups sugar (I use 1 1/4 cups)

4 eggs

1/2 cup oil

2 cups flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

Grease and flour a bundt pan (or a 13x9, rectangular pan). Preheat oven to 350 F. Put carrots, sugar, oil, and eggs in a blender and whiz until all pureed and smooth. Pour batter into a bowl, add flour and baking powder and stir well with a wooden spoon until all incorporated (but don't over mix!). Pour batter into prepared pan, bake at 350F for about 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Wait a few minutes for cake to cool (while you make the chocolate sauce) and invert cake into a plate. Pour hot chocolate sauce over the cake while it is still warm. Serve cake warm or cool to room temperature (if you can wait all that long, that is!).

Chocolate glaze

2 tablespoons cocoa

4 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons butter

5 tablespoons milk

Put all ingredients into a saucepan, heat over medium-high heat and let boil for about 4 to 5 minutes, until it has thickened up. Pour hot chocolate sauce immediately over the warm cake.