My Mother-In-Law

My MIL can be a very generous woman. She helps me out with the kids whenever she can and is constantly bringing me clothes. She actually enjoys spending time with me.

However, she is a narcissist. She means well, but it is all truly about her. Today I found out that my mother is going to have hip replacement surgery in December. I called my MIL to tell her, since they are friends (which pisses me off to no end because then they gang up on me). I was explaining to her that it would actually be great timing for me, because it will be easy for me to take off work, the monkeys will be on winter break and we can go up to the bay area and stay with my dad, help him around the house and visit my mom in the hospital.

MY mothers reply - "OH yes! We'll go up too!". Now I understand that she truly believes that she wants to go up there and help, but doesn't she realize that my mom will then be spending the days before the surgery cleaning the house and cooking meals so there will be food for her "guests" to eat? And then when they leave she will be forced to get up and do the sheets, etc... from their bed. It will be so much easier just to have her immediate family around her.

I explained this to my husband and he agreed. I spoke to my mom about it and she is afraid to tell them no.

Sigh! I am book-ended by the narcissist and the woman who goes out of her way to be nice to everyone (except me)!