Birthday Party

On Saturday night we went to a kids birthday party of a long time childhood friends' daughter. They're Russian like us. It was a great party and the monkeys had a fantastic time.

I was sitting there watching the monkeys play and realized that you would only hear the following at a Russian birthday party:

RGP (Russian Grandparents) - The brother was absolutely beautiful as a baby and all through child hood. She (the birthday girl) was not a pretty baby.
Me - Um, she is absolutely beautiful.

RGP - She (the birthday girl) is absolutely freezing!
Me - It's 65 degrees and she's in a full on long sleeve dress and stretch pants about to walk in to an indoor play place.

RGP in-law - She (the mother) has gained weight!
RGP mother of my friend - I don't think so. What do you thing Julia?
Me - Um, she looks great like she always does.

RGP - Julia! You look so great! I hardly recognized you! I can't even tell you're your parents daughter!
Me - Um, Thanks (seriously, how bad did I look before)?!?!?!?!

RGP - Julia! You've lost weight! Do you not eat?
Me - Nope, just go to the gym.

RGB (Russian Birthday Guest) - RGP, hi how are you? Why are you eating that sandwich? Look how many calories it has (mind you, the RGP is in her 60s and has earned the right to eat whatever she wants).


I realized a long time ago that:
1) My people can not do real compliments, only ones that are dripping in criticism or put downs
2) My people have no filter and no one is safe, not even a birthday child
3) We are all so used to this behavior that no one even bats an eye when it's done

American Kids versus Russian Kids

I received this email from a girl friend. This basically speaks volumes about why I am how I am.

American kids: Move out when they're 18, with the full support of their parents.
Russian kids: Move out when they're 28, having saved enough money for a house, and are two weeks away from getting married.....unless there's room in the basement for the newlyweds.

American kids: When their Mom visits them, she brings a Bundt cake, and they sip coffee and chat.
Russian kids: When their Mom visits them, she brings 3 days worth of food, begins to tidy up, dust, do the laundry, and rearrange the furniture. Of course with my parents, THE WHOLE TIME THEY ARE DOING THIS THEY WILL CRITIQUE THE FOOD YOU HAD, THE DUST THAT WAS THERE, ANY LAUNDRY THAT WAS NOT DONE WITH THEIR BRAND OF DETERGENT OR LINE DRIED, AND THE FACT THAT HOW YOUR ORIGINAL FURNITURE SET UP WAS ALL WRONG, AND ISN'T THEIR WAY BETTER.

American kids: Their dads always call before they come over to visit them, and it's usually only on special occasions.
Russian kids: Are not at all fazed when their dads show up,unannounced, on a Saturday morning at 8:00, and starts pruning the fruit trees. If there are no fruit trees, he'll plant some.

American kids: Always pay retail, and look in the Yellow Pages when they need to have something done.
Russian kids: Call their dad or uncle, and ask for another dad's or uncle's phone number to get it done..

American kids: Will come over for cake and coffee, and get cake and coffee.
Russian kids: Will come over for cake and coffee, and get Borsht, vodka, a salat olivye', a choice of two meats, bread, a dish of babushka's desert and fruit.

American kids: Eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on soft mushy white bread.
Russian kids: Eat selyodka and kartoshka with cherniy bread on the side

American kids: Know a few things about their parents.
Russian kids: Could write a book with direct quotes from them.

By the way, welcome to anyone who is reading this blog thanks to the link from the "Grocery Cart Challenge Recipe Swap". I hope you'll stay around.

Feeling like I'm back in middle school

Normally, I can walk up to anyone and start talking about anything. I'm friendly with all the moms at the monkeys' dance class, with all the moms in school, with pretty much most people I meet. And I am the friend who will come up to anyone and start chatting.

At my Zumba class, there are two girls, who are also Russian. I would love to strike up a conversation with them and maybe become friends. I've chatted with some of the other women there, and they are very nice. For some reason, I am shy in front of these two. I think, from experience with my own kind, that these girls may be opinionated and may look down on me. So, why do I want to be-friend them? No clue. I feel like I'm in middle school all over again.

Tonight, I did come up to them and tell them how they could stream Zumba music (they had asked the teacher about it a couple of weeks ago in class) and they were nice enough but that was the end of the conversation.

I should take a page from the big monkeys book. According to her, she just comes up to people and says "Do you want to be my friend"? If they say yes, she plays with them. If not, she moves on.

I'm sure she gets hurt if they say no, but that doesn't stop her! I guess it's a matter of do as I teach, not as I do :)

Gratuitous photo of the big monkey: