Always racing...

My mind is always going, never stopping. I was one of those kids who needed a constant noise (more like a din actually) around them, and I still do. I would study by watching TV, reading my school text and talking on the phone at the same time. When I took my SATs is was so quiet that I started an internal dialogue in my head (yes I'm a little nuts)!

This is the reason I can't do yoga...my mind during a massage is either racing or sleeping...even when I get a mani/pedi, I bring a book to read. Yes, I am constantly being told to relax my body and my mind.

I don't fully understand why I can't relax, just to relax. I don't necessarily do anything about the thoughts I have (like paying my soon to be late bills), I just have them.

I have also realized that I constantly need to plan out my "next" - as in "next" we drop off the big monkey, "next" we have 10 minutes to get gas and "next" the little monkey goes to dance.

As much as I love all of the inventions of the past century, and all of the conveniences, I wonder if my mind would stop racing if I simply couldn't race to the next thing. If I slowed down and simplified.

OK - who am I kidding? I would go bored from it being too quiet and my mind would start racing. It's a vicious circle I tell you ;)