Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sometimes Lucid

I was talking to a friend today and I made a coherent, well thought-out comment.... Sometimes I do have moments of lucidity!

We were discussing body images. It's a subject near and dear to most every woman I know. Thin, Fat, Short, Tall, conventionally beautiful, and those whose beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I grew up thinking I was heavy and unattractive. Looking back at my pictures, I was not "skinny", but I was nowhere near fat. I developed early so in turn looked big in regular clothes, especially being 5'2". It took a long time to be comfortable with my body.

It took having kids, working out regularly and knowing I am strong. My kids know I am healthy, and know that part of being healthy is exercising (running around outside, dance, Taekwondo, etc...) and that part is eating well (fruit, vegetables, meat, dairy and yes, even candy). I try to limit the sweets, but we talk about how to be healthy you have to eat good things, and candy isn't that good for you. IT'S NEVER ABOUT SIZE. It's about health. Hopefully, thanks to the lessons I learned growing up, I can save my kids some heart ache. Or maybe not, but I continue to try - especially in LA (the land of "LA 10's").

So, in honor of my moments of lucidity, I posted the above picture. It's not the best picture of me, but this picture is not about how I look (probably the only time I'll say that). I complained most of the way up the mountain, and I huffed and puffed and had to take breaks, but once up at the top I noticed it's beauty. And was happy I was able to reach the top. And felt strong, and knew that I would not feel sore the next day. This was my moment of lucidity, my AHA! moment.

Sure - I still obsess about the way my clothes fit and what the numbers on the scale mean and what my hair is doing and the adult pimples and if I'm a good mom and a good employee. I keep telling myself that these insecurities help push me to do better, and be a better person.

I hope to blog regularly, as I spend a lot of time at night just watching shows I've TIVO'd and surfing the net.

I'll blog about kids, food, crappy TV and random stuff that only I find interesting.

Hopefully, it will be interesting to more than just me.


Anonymous said...

Oooooooooo...that Stone Mountain climb is a killer! I didn't have much trouble going up, well, except for that last part where the railing is. But coming down???? My thighs complained all the way down and then for the next two days!

I could barely climb the curb at Buckhead Diner (making the valet laugh). ;-)

Julia said...

How funny! I had a heck of a time climbing up, but climbing down was no problem. It's very odd considering I use 10% incline at the gym - you think my legs would be more used to up than down.

That railing - I pulled my self up that thing by sheer will.